Regardless of where you come down on the Supreme Court nomination hearings, you have probably noticed that they have laid bare a problem in American society. Countless survivors and witnesses to sexual aggression watched the proceedings with a mixture of anger, fear and nascent hope. Countless others wonder where the line will eventually be drawn between innocence and guilt and what punishment will be imposed for behaviors accepted throughout human history.
In the wake of Dr. Ford’s testimony, calls to sexual abuse hotlines and media tip sites, Facebook posts and private conversations exploded with women revealing their experiences of sexual aggression over the course of their lifetime. The pain, shame and fear of these experiences had been festering below the surface of their lives until this historical moment when our nation dares to peel back the scars.
At the same time, people in power and those who support them openly questioned whether they and their sons would ever be safe from accusations of sexual misconduct, real or imagined. Their fear and uncertainty over changing social behaviors and shifting power dynamics undermine their world view and leave them with a sense the world is spinning out of order.
When viewed through our society’s punitive lens, the punishment seems steep. In the last year, many powerful men have lost their careers and freedom when their sexual exploitation became public. Their shame and lost opportunity are prices they had never had to pay, in part, because their victims have been carrying those burdens for years. The hurt these hearings has exposed runs deep—raw and searing for some, capricious and menacing for others.
When viewed through a restorative justice lens, the answer seems clear. We must recognize the hurt on all sides and help them work toward healing. Overwhelmingly, the survivors of sexual abuse say they needed to have people believe them and acknowledge the pain they suffered and, when possible, receive an apology. This Supreme Court hearing gave America a chance to listen attentively to Dr. Ford’s experience and see how it still affects her three decades later. Many others express concern that, like Judge Kavanaugh, at any moment they could be victimized by claims—genuine or false—about their conduct from any time in their lives. Both experiences of harm must be recognized and acknowledged respectfully and openly.
After everyone’s story is heard and respected, the restorative justice process asks who has been affected and how. Obviously, this Supreme Court hearing has affected Judge Kavanaugh, Dr. Blasey Ford and all those who love them. Both have endured threats to their physical and financial security and public scrutiny of their private lives. Only they can explain all the harms they and their loved ones have suffered. If they had a chance to talk and listen restoratively to each other, they might find a shared humanity and even develop empathy—something nearly impossible in the “he said/she said” public battle designed to punish the loser.
We must also recognize this hearing has exposed deeper hurts in our society of privilege and the role of sex in maintaining it. Those hurts will not be healed in this Supreme Court hearing, but they are being addressed every day by people like university student-conduct professionals and countless men and women working to ensure that consent and respect form the basis for sexual interactions. The first step in healing is to acknowledge a harm exists, and this Supreme Court hearing has shone a spotlight on a gaping wound in our society.
The third phase of a restorative intervention is healing the harm. The Senate’s actions of the Kavanaugh nomination will reflect a variety of factors including, but not limited to, whose testimony they believe. And, as noted above, their ability to heal these individuals’ hurts in this public forum is limited. But this same public forum can generate healing in our broader society. It has already inspired countless survivors to make their voices heard about sexual victimization. It has thrust into the public sphere stories and questions and experiences that had been suppressed or denied or vilified throughout history. Rather than waiting for outside authorities to “solve” this problem, we need to build on the restorative justice model and seek healing over punishment. We need to provide forums for survivors to be heard and those who have used or accepted sex as a control measure to change.
Suppressing or attacking those who experience sexual assault doesn’t change. Punishing those who are caught or simply accused, doesn’t heal. As everyone’s voice is heard and experience honored, however, we have an opportunity restore justice and foster healthy relationships. Regardless of where you come down on the Supreme Court nomination hearings, you could probably agree the issue of sexual aggression in our society causes harm. We have a better shot at true change if we address it with respect and healing for all parties.